J and Steven can kiss...

...the fattest part of my ass!!!

I FUCKING QUIT!!!

Im moving to a friggin convent and becoming a nun. Thats looking like the only way Im gonna get people to friggin drop this whole thing with J. I cant understand how it is that Steven can run around like a fucking $.50 whore and nobody says anything about it. But heaven forbid I sleep with ONE FUCKING GUY in 2 years and suddenly Im a tramp and we simply must broadcast it across the fucking planet.

I think J might have gotten tired of me blowing him off. Its not like I had a choice. My mom had her gaulbladder out on wednesday and I havent been able to come out and hang. I explained this to him multiple times prior to the surgery date. Yet every friggin day he's asked me to come hang with him. Then I got sick at the hospital with bronchitis or some shit(thanks steven). I feel like shit and just dont feel like going out. Nobody fucking gets it. Out of the 5 of us, Im the only one with a job and a car. None of them give me gas money.

Gaaaaaaaaaah random rants galore....

Im getting the feeling that...

...my vagina secretes Zyprexa,Aterall, marinara sauce, and THC.

Let me explain(probably repeating myself) why I think this.

Every boyfriend I have ever had has either been Bi-polar, ADHD, Italian or a stoner.

First boyfriend-ADHD, Italian, Stoner
Second boyfriend-ADHD, Stoner, strongly suspected italian
Third boyfriend- ADHD turned Bi-Polar, Italian, Stoner
Fourth boyfriend-ADHD, Stoner, suspected Italian

I met one of Stevens friends last sunday night.We will call him J We ended up hooking up(mistake number 1) without a condom(mistake number 2) after knowing eachother maybe 3 hours(my own mistake number 3). Dont even begin to judge me. It had been 2 years 2 months and 1 day since I had last had sex. I was just going with the flow. I swore up and down all week that it was only going to be a one night stand and that it would be the only one I ever had for the rest of my life. Then thursday he calls me (should have changed my friggin number) asking if I wouldnt mind giving him a ride to his moms house in B-bay. I had about as much resistance as a fucking cotton ball. I drive up to his apt and we hang out watching Scarface and eating hot dogs. His first move was repeating "Hey fuck you" and poking my face. I nip at his finger and he laughs. Then during the dancing scene with the girl in the green dress he decides to pretend he can sing and dance and pulls me up to dance with him. He kissed my cheek and we sit back down. There was an arm across my sholders here and there but nothing really spectacular. That is untill the last scene where Al Pacino is shooting everybody up. I guess big fight scenes with ficticous drug lords get him going because things escalated from a grope.

I still feel pretty skanky about it. But at the same time I want more.

"Im addicted to you..."

I am SO caffeine's bitch.

Currently:
Feeling: tired despite going to bed at 11 instead of the ungodly hour of 3 or 4
Listening to: John Mayor "Daughters" on my mp3
Tasting: nothing
Located: The Connector

My inner insomniac decided it was going to take a night off last night. And even with the extra hour of sleep I'm still tired. I wonder if the birth control could have anything to do with it. It's more then likely from my period last week. I'm eating a lot better I noticed since i started taking the birth control. Now if only i could get my ass motivated enough to exercise. I've been walking my dog most nights for about a half hour. Its not that we go very far its that he's a beagle. Hunting dog to the core. He has to sniff everything and pee on every single bush and tree and telephone pole. Oddly enough he refuses to pee on the few fire hydrants in the neighborhood.

I'm still torn on whether I'm changing majors or not. Last week I was leaning heavy on early childhood development. But I also considered art as well. I'm not sure I'm digging the early childcare so much. I've been itching to get some sketching done the last month. I've been thinking about art being my major a lot the last few days.

I hate being so indecisive.

Technology hates me

Its oh so true.

Currently:
Feeling: frustrated
Listening to: Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp
Tasting: milk
Located: living room couch

The past 3 or so days I havent been able to connect to the internet on my lappy. The last person to access the web was my sister Kelly so I'm thinking she fucked it up. She refuses to admit to anything. I was on the phone yesterday with dell for an hour+. Tried doing a system restore and nothing. They tried fixing it via remote access and nothing. They told me there's nothing wrong with the laptop and nothing wrong with my wireless router. They said it had to have something to do with the chanels or something. I just want my lap top to work. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. I have papers to write and i need the internet to get to my information.

Thursday was my physical exam for the birth control. God was that ever awkward. My HIV test came back negative(WOOHOO!!!). I did have some bacterial vaginosis thing. The doctor said it didnt look like an STD. She put me on an antibiotic to hopefully clear it up. I'll have all my test results back in 3 weeks max. Im just hoping its not something serious. The counciler told me it could just be from stress. I was pretty freaked out earlier in the week.

Hoping the lap top works again.

Happy Easter

The rabbit cometh and he leaves me candy!

Currently I am:
Feeling: less guilty about last Thursdays indiscretions and smiley over T
Listening to: The Matrix 2
Tasting: bubble gum mouthwash
located: living room couch(oh shit this blog is on the move)

Not a super eventful weekend. I worked the nursery at my church for all 3 of their Easter weekend services. Saturday night we had i think 2 babies in the infant nursery and no toddlers. Today we had probably 20 toddlers total between the 2 morning services. The room for 1st graders upstairs had 20 kids in the last service. And on top of all the little ones there wasn't enough seating in the auditorium. The pastor took chairs from all over the church so people could sit. All the chairs from the ministry center as well a the ministry apartment where brought in. They even brought in the piano bench from the back room. I was wondering if they would move on to taking the little chairs from the toddler nursery.

After all of that craze I went up to my grandmothers house for Easter dinner. Of course we got there late and all the deviled eggs where gone!!!It was a rather uneventful visit. My cousin, her boyfriend, her friend, and I went outside to blow bubbles and smoke. I only had 2 drags off a cigarette. We saw 3 huge rats running around the back yard and my aunt swore they where just chipmunks. They where sooo rats. It got cold so we went back inside and just hung out. I'm hopefully going to get up to Brighton to see my cousins new apartment next weekend.

I took the very first pill in my pack of birth control pills at 1:30. Tomorrow I'm gonna take it closer to 12 since I can be sure I'm doing the same thing around that time each day: eating lunch.

That's about it for the weekend.

Mission to Birth Control do you copy?

I'm not a trollop. I'm just taking care of my health.

Currently I am:
Feeling: a little confused
Listening to: O*Town "I showed her"(yea I'm lame)
Tasting: salt and vinegar chips
Located in: work

I decided to put myself on some birth control pills. I'm just plain sick of the uncertainty with my "red flag". I thought I was going to skip it last month since it was like 2 weeks late and I haven't had sex in almost 3 years. Nope just when I though I was in the clear it comes out of no where with a vengeance. I have absolutely no intentions of telling my parents. They are aware that I have had sex but I seriously believe that they think I wont have it again since an unpleasant incident that happened 3 years ago. If they find out I really don't care. I'm 20 years old and at some point in the future there will be some guy out there that wants to sleep with me for some reason unbeknown to myself.

The sucky part about going on the pill is that I have to quit smoking. What the hell am I supposed to do on my break at work? I just hope they dont tell me I can't drink alchomahols anymore. That would suck even worse. We will have to see on the 11th.