"In my head, its only in my head..."

I NEED MY TIN FOIL HAT!!!

Currently:
Feeling: suspicious
Listening: random song on the radio and manicurist working on her client in the other room
Tasting: mint gum
Located: work

I'm beginning to think that some of the guys I used to date got together and decided to plant a chip in my head so they could tell when I decided they were an ass hole or that I was emotionally down and thus get in touch with me again because they know my heart is easily manipulated. I am of course speaking of E right now. However he isn't the only one I'm weary of.

Let me start from the beginning. Yesterday morning(so long ago right?) I had decided E was an ass hole and I had to accept that he was just going to float in and out of my life whenever he saw fit. My sister told me I should download the song "Who let the dogs out?" to my mp3 because she liked it. I told her I wouldn't until I had time to drive past E's house with it blasting becuase he live's in, and I quote(myself)"fancy house full of fancy stuff in a fancy nieghborhood with his fancy car and I just want to disturb the piece because I think he's an ass hole." I then continued on with my day feeling pretty good that I had let go. Fast forward to about 6:30 last night. He starts texting me. The following is the exchange between us:

E:Hey how r u?
Me: Hey Im doin good how r u?(I suck at staying angry I know)
E: Sicki thhnk(think) my whole body is swore(sore)
(I thought he was drunk after this text but...)
Me: That sucks
(I was at dinner trying to figure out what I owed which is while the following texts are all from him)
E: I cant be leave we did that it was fun sorry I got all sad
(I'm wondering at this point if he has me confused for her)
E: It was my fault
E: U got to admit it was fun
E:I mean idk(he does that when he's nervous about something usually when he texts that to me its because he's worried I'm pissed off at him)
Me: It was sorry I was figuring out how much I owe 4 dinner
E: its ok what was ur fav part?
Me: feelin close to someone for a little while even if it was only one way havent felt that since graduation night
E: Aw who were you with that night? I mean fav thing we did
Me: Grad night I was with the guy from CT and I cant pick just one thing *blush* sorry

Warning: the rest of this gets graphic. If you take objection to SEXUALLY EXPLICIT content please skip the rest of this text

E: it was so great when you let me c** in ur mouth felt so good
Me:Idk what to say lol um happy 2 b of service I guess
E: would u do it again?
Me:despite my better judgement i cant say no to u
E: i could c** all inside?
Me: Inside where? Im not trying to start anything i really dont know
E: mouth
Me: Yes
E: would you swallow it?
Me: Havent I done that already? It would b kinda odd to say i dont after i have
E would you like me too c** in there again?
Me: yes
(then he doesnt text back for a while)
Me: hope you feel better soon
E: TY :]
Me: no problem

I honestly think he has a chip in my head.