No better then befor

I still hurt.

Currtently:
Feeling: pain,wishing i was alone so i could cry
Listening to: cleaning crew
Tasting: nothing
located: work

I thought sleep would make everything dull a little. I feel just as shitty as yesterday. And I cant even just lay in bed and feel miserable. I have to work and of course the cleaning people are here today. I just want to be alone. I wanna scream and cry and throw things.

Despite what happened with E i cant get mad at him. Why cant I get mad at him? If I could get angry with him for what happened I could deal alot better. But I cant. Instead I feel like i got punched in the stomach. My heart feels shattered.

And just to make things more uncomfortable I have to be around my family this weekend. And of course they will try to be all happy and cheerful. I hate this whole situation.